I will never have a feather pillow fight

I will never own another feather pillow.
I will never own another feather pillow.
I will never own another feather pillow.
I will never own another feather pillow.
I will never own another feather pillow.
...at least as long as I have this dog.

Set up: Middle of the night, Friday night. Have to get up early for the Race for the Cure...apparently the dog does not care about this schedule.

I hear him playing in the room, but it doesn't sound right because he's coughing, so I roll over to look at the floor at 12:39am (yes, I look a the clock when I get up.) I see a pillow...no biggie. I pick it up and realize that it's not all white. The dog has eaten a hole in it. Let me rephrase that. It has an opening like a bag of potato chips - all the way across the top! The dark is feathers. Lots of feathers. Urgh!
So I now need to get up and put the thing in the trash before he digs in some more. Mind you, I have to put my feet on the floor for this task. The floor is soft...and fluffy.
There are feathers ALL OVER the bedroom!!! At this late hour, my mind will not let the concept of cleaning up this stuff enter. What do I do??? Well, I carefully removed the feather covered sheet from my bed and grab a new sheet and climb into bed, dog safely on the other side of the bedroom door. The little feathers were making us both cough. Right before I fall into dream land, I realize that if I had not found the feathers in the bed, I could have choked to death on them.
The headline: Death by Down. A Feather Fatality. How embarrassing.
Well, I get up and do the Race for the Cure and try not to think about the clean up that this will require. I finished up in a few hours because a vacuum seemed the best way to clean up and I had to empty it a lot. Geeesh!