Week 1

…my plan was to do a daily log of the weirdness that Lupron causes. Because the symptoms online were scary to say the least.

The reality is not much better.

The week with Lupron:

Hot Flashes…Nope

Night Sweats…Nope

Moodiness…Nope

And all those other 32 symptoms we saw online...nada

What’s really happened is that I don’t feel anything. Not in the good way, where I am not experiencing any weird symptoms, so that must be nice… but in the totally APATHETIC kind of way.

I’m thinking of things that stress me, but I don’t FEEL anything. It’s so hard to explain, but that’s the only way I can describe it.

I’m thinking the hyper thoughts, but I’m not feeling that thing that you get in your chest when you passionately feel angst or anger or even find something funny.

Weird.

That’s my only observation so far. …Let me just add that this is also the BEST I’ve felt in a while. I’m always tired or PMS’y so I’m dragged down and nervous all the time. Not feeling that. At the time I got the shot, I was in full on PMS mode, so I definitely noticed the difference.

My neighbor actually told me that my coloring looks good. That was nice. J and knowing I won’t have to worry about my period for 30 days…that’s nice too.

I have my pre-op appt on Nov 2. I will have to pay the difference of what my insurance won’t cover at that time. So I have something that’s going to loom overhead for a little while more.

The M-Word

I don't think I'll go into all the details, but suffice it to say, I will be having a "procedure" in mid-November that necesitates my getting a shot of a drug called Lupron.

Lupron will bring on menopause immediately. I will get this shot on Wednesday, and 30 days later, mid-November, I will have this procedure that I am not going into.

I thought it might be interesting to put this experience in writing as even I don't know what the world around me is getting into. I'm trying to be good humored about it, but really a normal woman goes thru different stages before hitting full on menopause, so with it happening overnight, I'm worried. My chemistry will go back to normal afterward, so I'm lucky, I'll have at least 10 to 15 years before I need to worry again. I will get a peek into the inevitable.

I know what you're asking, what are the symptoms of menopause? ...besides hot flashes and night sweats? At least that's all I knew, and that's bad enough. I found a list of 35, yes, thirty-five symptoms. for the list go here: http://www.project-aware.org/Experience/symptoms.shtml

I laughed and shared the list with several coworkers, but then started getting really nervous about the implications. "sudden tears"? Really? I tend to hold it together rather well, but now I'm going to cry when they run out of bacon in the cafeteria? Will I need to go home on occasion? Will I "go off" on people because I will be that irritable? Some of these symptoms I already have because of my hypothyroid, so will they intensify or remain the same?

It all has me wondering.

I've gotten some sympathy from coworkers, so I feel better. They will keep an eye on me and hopefully keep me in check, rather than snicker behind my back. I don't think they will snicker...but will they pull me off someone if I jump them? Will my reputation be smeared because of my behavior in the next 30 days? Hopefully, it will pass innocently.

We'll see! I'll try to write every day, unless of course, if I'm in jail. ;-)