Someone is gonna be in DEEP trouble when mom sees this!

Torn from CNN's photo pages.

Is Dallas Inclusive?

As I was headed back from lunch yesterday, I was driving on Walnut Hill LN here in Dallas....I passed Gaywood Rd, 2 blocks later, separated by a creek is Strait Ln. Guess which one has a Fine Arts center and a Piano Tuning company and which one has "Dallas Hockey"? Talk amongst yourselves

Lazy

Lazy is when you don't want to stand up or call out (yell) to see if your next-cube-neighbor is there, you just check their internal IM status.

Did personal space get reduced and no one told me??

So I'm getting my drink at the dispenser that only one person can stand at at a time. I notice on my left a woman approaches and puts her tray down (must have been too heavy for her to stand behind me, she had to put the tray down.)
Where is she standing? Right in front of the lids and the straws for the drinks that's where.
So I finish dispensing and rather than taking that dramatic step to the left so the next person can start getting their drink from the megamachine, kinda like in church during communion, I have to just leeeaaan over. I place my drink on the counter with my right hand. I'm holding my lunch with my left. Because I have the strength to do that without getting tired. She moves her tray over about 8 inches to give me room. See how she acknowledges me there? So I grab a lid and put it on the cup, with my right hand, then the straw. Then what happens?
She says "Wow you're pretty good! You did that with one hand!" All I'm thinking is "That's because you're in the way! And you're doing it wrong!" but I just said "Thanks" and as a back handed way of making myself feel better I added "and I'm actually left-handed".

I've been throwing something into the air lately.
After I went to the register to pay. We have these lines that you politely wait behind as a person is doing their transaction at the register. Only about 4 feet or so. ...I approach and then some dude is right up on me again to my left! ...WTF! And even worse, he's watching the register to examine the cost of my purchase. Grrrr. So I reached across him to pick up the week's food schedule. I'm just inviting everyone into my space I guess.

Yesterday, I was at Walmart in line and I was going to take the opportunity to call a friend because our texts were going the way of misunderstanding that I might be mad at her. So as soon as I found a line, I am trying to gauge how long the conversation can go before I'm being impolite to the cashier. and then I try to start making the phone call, I see a woman get in line behind me. Then she starts talking. So I'm polite. "I should have come here during the Cowboys game. I thought I was coming here early to avoid the crowd." Bla bla blah. I said "I was thinking the same thing!" Actually, I was worried about getting to the Pride parade. But I digress...
So this old woman doesn't stop. She goes ever further and stands NEXT to me. Yes, in front of her cart! Like she's wanting to see my texts or something. She's on my right side and a few times touches me to maker her point. Isn't there cart etiquette where you need to keep a cart physically between you and a conversation with a stranger in Walmart. For everyone's safety? OMG she talked the whole time. I had to actually move her out of my way so I could get the things onto the belt. Yes, I said "Move her"!  I said excuse me but didn't TOUCH her cuz that's just wrong.
I know. She was probably lonely. Because she said she was retired from IBM and worked hard to have no debt. Gawd, Walmart lines make me feel so trapped!

I failed Polite

I know weird things happen in public bathrooms, but this is getting crazy.

A while back, SWA started the process of updating the building, one big start was the bathrooms. I think I started noticing the changes around the same time but still, check this sh*t out!  (As we start every fairy tale in TEXAS)

Let me backtrack even more.  It's a funny thing here at this company. When someone gets paper towels to dry their hands, they pull the crank a few times and then leave. Which leaves you with a little bit of "starter" towel so you don't have to have wet hands to get them.  Pretty darn nice, right? I think so too.  That's just a SWA culture thing. I have been told it even happens in the men's room.

And we've all experienced the cell phone user in the bathroom.  Not just in the stall, but those folks who seem to need the "privacy" of an echoing bathroom to carry on their conversations.  So we flush and flush just to either be funny or make a point.

This is where things get weird.

Last week I pushed open the bathroom door and was startled by a person standing there, with her back to me, talking.  So I went around, she was talking to another employee, who was standing in the first stall, with the door open.  I thought that was weird, but I had more urgent things to worry about. As I was "doing my thing" I got the gist of their conversation.

Seems Women#1, we'll call her the Blocker, for reasons that will be very clear in a second. And the woman in the stall will be called…hmmm…Polite.

They were talking about being pregnant and all the fun physical stuff that comes with it. Namely, bathroom stuff.

As I am washing my hands, I take a peek at Polite's posture. She's fidgeting, smiling, engaged in the conversation, but also shifting her weight often.  So now you know why I called the other Blocker.  Let the Pregnant woman pee!

If you ever run into someone in the hall and they happen to stop at the entrance to the restroom, be nice enough to let them go in and do their thing.  If you go in too, all the better. But don't keep them from doing their thing!!  So you may be wondering how I know the woman needed to pee…cuz the conversation would have led to the hallway OUTSIDE the restroom had she done her thing.

I had this happen to me once at a startup that I worked at, I rarely had time to get up from my desk, but the CEO saw me in the hall and started asking me questions. He suddenly stopped and said, "Oh my Gosh, were you trying to go to the restroom?!" Me: "Um Yeah" CEO (I'll paraphrase): "I do need to talk to you, so, if you don't mind, I'll linger here so I can talk to you when you come out because I know all you're probably  thinking about is that you need to use the restroom."  And he was there when I came out, but I liked him much better after that.

Okay, so back to SWA. …I failed Polite, I should have said something. I feel bad.

Oh and there's more!  Two days ago I was entertained by Muzak while in there, seems someone was jamming to some nice contemporary Latin pop.  We have Argentinians here so that's all I could figure, but it wasn't a ringtone that she was ignoring! It was this person needing the soothing sounds of Luis Miguel or Juanes…or whoever that was, to get them thru.  Might I suggest earbuds??

Which brings me to the singers. You know what I'm talking about. Singers and hummers, those are just bathroom staples and we have our share here too.

After the Blocker/Polite encounter I said how do you top that! …and then the music started.  I'd love to say "That is all" but who knows.

Conversations with a Sandwich Artist

--I went to Subway at lunch the other day--
SubwayGuy: Hello, Welcome to Subway.
ME: Hello, I'll have a foot-long BMT on White.
SubwayGuy: On White? a Footlong? BMT.
Me: Yes.
SubwayGuy: Was that a BLT?
Me: No, BMT.
SubwayGuy: Bacon Lettuce and Tomato??
Me: No, the BMT.
SubwayGuy: A BLT?
Me: No, A Bee Emm Tee.
SubwayGuy: Oh. A B-Emm-T? (both of us tightening our lips and raising out eyebrows)
Me: Yes, the one with pepperoni and salami. The BMT.
SubwayGuy: Would you like Spicy...um, would you be interested in our Italian Club? It has pepperoni and salami.

-=I'm sure Subway would be most impressed to know the silly man was downselling the subs=-
Me: No. The BMT.
SubwayGuy (pointing to the ham) The one with Ham..
Me (nodding): Yes, the BMT.
SubwayGuy: Okay, I was just checking cuz it has pepperoni...
Me: I want the BMT, I've been ordering the BMT for 20 years now. That's the sandwich I want. (smile)
SubwayGuy: (sheepish grin) Okay.

...and then I felt old cuz I've really been ordering the BMT the exact same way for much longer than that.
 -=sigh=-